Dear Asha: 12/25/16

12/25/16

Dear Asha:

Merry Christmas, darling. I am gazing at you across the room. You are making the face that I attribute to feeling happy and perhaps reading my mind and feeling acknowledged. I was looking at a picture of you today. It's from when Deena was a freshly arrived pup into our lives. You two are snuggling in the papazon chair that I used to have.

Then, I thought of last night when you came up and snuggled against Deena on the blanket on the couch. You only do these things in the winter, so I know it is in large part due to keeping warm. But it made me wonder/realize that perhaps you have been the snuggler all along. People don't give you credit since you're not always welcoming to those you haven't known for a long time. You'll hiss or wail or sometimes bite or scratch. But I think snuggling is in your true nature.

Of course, you always snuggle with me. I am your mommy and you are my kitten. You are doing it right now – you are kneading the blanket on my lap and purring your beautiful song. It's a little bit of a compulsive behavior, but it's so cute and feels good (as long as your nails are trimmed). But I think I realized you like to snuggle with others as well. You want to be in contact. You used to snuggle with Shadow, but I think she got most of the credit because she was naturally snuggly with everyone.

Deena, however, does not naturally snuggle with you. She does with me and other people and sometimes other dogs. But you are the one who has approached her the times you've lain with contact or near-contact between you. Even when she was a puppy, it was you who went and laid next to her. I think that's the thing – it was natural for you to do that. It's only been because of her behavior since that has made you stop. Of course, there's no way to verify this, but it really makes my heart smile when I think how you want to not only be loved, but be loving. You want to sidle up next to your family and be warm and cozy and in contact.

I love you so much, Asha. I said yesterday that you've been with me 1/3 of my life. That's kind of a big deal. That's a lot of knowing each other. I know I've been through many life changes in that time. And people don't often think of their pets doing that as well, but when Shadow died – who had always been there for you – your life changed immensely. Here we are, almost five years later, and I feel like I'm just now getting to see you open up again and be a kitty in the way I knew you when you were young. You've played fetch a few times recently. You've played with some of your toys recently. You've snuggled with Deena. I love to see this in you, my darling. I know part was the loss of your soul mate. The other part was the addition of this dog that doesn't really relate to you very well. And when I looked at that picture, I saw you trying to relate to her. I love you. Thank you for the arm massage right now.

Shannon