Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Dear Ryan D: 12/12/16

12/12/16

Dear Ryan,

I had a dream about you last night. In real life, your cat died recently; in the dream you had bladder cancer. I put those statements next to one another because the feelings were similar for me. Like, I can feel the pain you're going through, but not really. It's been a long while since I lost a beloved pet. I can relate, but from a distance away. I also have not had cancer. It is impossible to know what that experience would be.

In the dream, with your bladder cancer, I could feel my bladder responding. Anytime I hear of someone with some bladder issue or UTI, my bladder responds. I had bladder infections as a child. I even remember my mom taking me to a doctor to have all my plumbing tested. They filled my bladder with water to see how much it could hold; they stuck an uninflated balloon up my asshole and then inflated it; they did whatever kind of scan is appropriate for looking at the bladder. The only information I remember them leaving us with was that my bladder was 1/3 the size it was supposed to be, and it would grow once I went through puberty.

I remember my mom during those moments. More accurately, I remember what I believe I felt from my mom in those moments. I was her only child. She didn't have any other children before or after me to gauge what was the right answer or better choice. Just me. And what I felt from her during difficult moments like that was like she couldn't stand to put me through it, but she just didn't know what else to do. She worked as a scientist and wanted some answers.

I wet the bed at least until 6th grade. It was at an age when I was having sleep overs at other people's homes. My mom would tell their moms that I may or may not wet the bed. Perhaps I needed to wear my Depends at night. My friends were lovely and understanding, but it was still embarrassing.

I haven't had a bladder infection for as long as I can remember. But when people discuss bladder issues, or when I dream about them at night, my bladder lights up in recognition and starts to bother me. I do remember in the dream wondering if I had bladder cancer.

Anyway, Ryan, I am sorry about your cat. I know she was as old as my cat, and therefore, has been with you a very long time. Your little soul familiar. I love you, and I loved the joy Asa brought you. My heart goes out to you.


Shannon

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